“It's the nuances of desire that hold the truth of who we are at our rawest moments. I set out to register the heat and sting of female want so that men and other women might more easily comprehend before they condemn. Because it's the quotidian moments of our lives that will go on forever, that will tell us who we were, who our neighbors and our mothers were, when we were too diligent in thinking they were nothing like us. This is the story of three women.”
This quote sets out what the book aims to do, which is to illuminate the experience of modern day women through the stories of three individuals exploring desire. The author hopes to capture how universal human experience is, despite how different some of the stories she’s about to tell may be. She also hopes that by illuminating women’s experiences, readers may come away from the book with a better understanding and empathy for others.
“One inheritance of living under the male gaze for centuries is that heterosexual women often look at other women the way a man would.”
This quote from the author is about how her mother once endured days of walking to work with a man following behind her and masturbating. The author can imagine what it might have been like in the man’s head, seeing her mother’s feminine legs from and outsider’s perspective. She notes that because our society commonly views female beauty from a male perspective, we are all (women and men) accustomed to looking at females through this male lens. This ties in with the fact that her mother also didn’t take any action against this man, which the author hypothesizes could have been because of the way society treats women in general.
“The rumours, as usual, didn't take into account the complexity, much less the truth.”
A statement about how circulating rumors, although entertaining for those on the outside, rarely take into account what actually has happened. Gossip spreads with little regard for how an event has affected real people. People often talk about rumors as a good story, rather than acknowledging that a real person is at the center of the story and might be suffering.
“His distance is captivating and awful. He's trying to control himself and succeeding, and she feels, acutely, how a loved one's self-control can be cruel to the other person.”
This quote explores how it feels to want someone who, on the surface, doesn’t appear to want you as much as you desire them. Maggie’s teacher has manipulated her into developing strong feelings for him, yet he hasn’t acted on those romantic feelings yet, which leaves Maggie feeling helpless and deflated. She suspects that he is interested romantically (or sexually) in her, but he’s demonstrating a kind of aloof self-control that makes her feel awful. On the other hand, the opposite is true when that person does acknowledge you in the way you desire - making it that much more enjoyable and rewarding.
“Women shouldn't judge one another’s lives, if we haven't been through one another's fires.”
This quote comes from Lina when she is in her discussion group speaking about her extra-marital affair with Aidan. Both Lina and Aidan are married to other people but have recently reconnected through Facebook and embarked on a sexual relationship. Lina feels alive and rejuvenated by the affair for the first time in years. She suffers from fibromyalgia but finds that the excitement and feelings from the affair, as well as the sexual nature of it, have helped her not only endure the pain of her fibromyalgia symptoms, but even conquer them. She’s stating that others shouldn’t judge because they don’t truly know the intimate details of what another person experiences on a daily basis, and therefore, shouldn’t judge how they choose to live their lives.
