The Cleaner (extract)
I've seen it all, you know. Men.
Well, I've been married for thirty-
two years,
I can do without them.
I know what they're after.
And these students. They're
young, you know.
They don't kbow what it's all
about,
The first years. And these post-
grads;
I know what they're after.
Not The Millennium (extract)
Wise Men are busy being computer
literate.
There should be a law against
confusing
Religion with mathematics.
There was a baby. Born where?
And when? The sources mention
Massacres, prophecies, stars:
They tell a good story, but they don't
agree.
So we celebrate at the wrong
midnight.
What The Donkey Saw (extract)
No room at the inn, of course,
And not that much in the stable,
What with the shepherds, Magi, Mary,
Joseph, the heavenly host -
Not to mention the baby using our manger as a cot.
You couldn't have squeezed another
cherub in
For love nor money.
The Wicked Fairy at the Manger (extract)
Petty infringers of the law, persons
With notifiable diseases,
Poll-tax collectors, tarts;
The bottom rung.
His end?
I think we'll make it
Public, prolonged, painful.
Right, said the baby, That was roughly what we had in mind.
- U.A. Fanthorpe