Dr. Pickle
Dr. Pickle is actually named Dr. Pickell. You would think that is how he earned his nickname and in any other school this would be the case. But Wayside isn’t like any other school. And so, it only makes sense that Dr. Pickell earned his nickname through completely different circumstances:
“At the end of the chain was a green stone that was almost transparent, but not quite. It looked like a pickle. Hence, his name.”
Mr. Gorf’s Voice
The young students are terrified at the thought of a new substitute teacher. He shares his last name with a particularly detested teacher and fear fills the air that he is related and just as awful. But the first impression quickly disarms the kids:
“His voice was full of comfort and wisdom, like an old leather chair in a dusty library. It didn’t matter what he said. It felt good just to listen to him.”
Louis and Mr. Kidswatter
A moment between Louis, the yard teacher, and Mr. Kidswatter, the principal, seems to be unexpectedly revelatory. Metaphor beneath the breath temporarily hangs in the air revealing one character’s true feelings together another. But then the atmosphere sucks it and away:
“You may not believe this, Louis, but I don’t have many friends.” He put his hand on Louis’s shoulder. “You’re like a son to me,” he said.
“And you’re a maggot-infested string bean,” muttered Louis.
“What?” asked Mr. K.
“I said, you’re a magnificent human being.”
Mr. Gorf’s Voice, Again
It turns out that Mr. Gorf’s soothing and almost hypnotic voice that sounds like comfort and wisdom personified is not necessarily one that offers true insight into his character. In fact, Mr. Gorf is a pretty much a master of mimicry. And the real test is determining which voice is actually reflective of the man’s true character:
“If a donkey could talk, and if the donkey had a sore throat, and if it spoke with a French accent—that was what Mr. Gorf’s voice sounded like.”
Goozack
Mr. Kidswatter is, even by the rules of Wayside, a genuinely odd duck. He has an outburst over using the word “door” that pretty much defies any rational explanation for why he is still employed. And so he invents a metaphorical term to be used instead of door. But not everybody abides by this terminology. For instance, Mrs. Drazil, who knows exactly what the word is really a metaphor for:
“Mr. Kidswatter is a goozack.”
