The Monkey Room Suyoung Patrick Yun

“I want to go to the Monkey Room!”

Slightly exasperated, I look down at the screaming six-year-old child and try desperately to remember the training on “collaborative problem solving.”

Step One: Find a place of empathy with the child.

“You really want to go to the Monkey Room, don’t you Jordan? That does sound like loads of fun. I really like the Monkey Room too!”

“Yeah, I want to go to the Monkey Room right now!” shouts Jordan, still throwing his arms in the air.

Step Two: Express your concerns.

“The Monkey Room really does sound like fun, but my concern is that it’s art time right now, and we need to stay with Teacher Ben [the therapist].”

“But I want to go to the Monkey Room!”

Step Three: Indirectly ask the child for a possible solution that meets both his and your needs.

“Well, Jordan,” I pause to make sure I still held his attention. “I wonder if there’s anything we can do so we can both get what we want.”

“Yeah, we can go to the Monkey Room because I really like the Monkey Room.”

Step Four: If unable to reach an acceptable solution, find the underlying cause of the misbehavior.

“So, Jordan.” I pause again for another attention check. “What do you like to do in the Monkey Room?”

“Well, I really like to play baseball,” stammers...