Control
From the outset of Happiness for Beginners, Katherine Center establishes control as one of the novel's major themes. Center develops the theme mainly through Helen's obsessive need to exercise decision-making power over herself and others as a response to the fact that reality is inherently chaotic and unpredictable. In the first chapter, Center introduces the theme of control by detailing how Helen drops off Pickle with exhaustive, multi-page instructions about the dog's needs. Jake also pokes fun at Helen's control-freak nature because she has set out every detail of her drive to Wyoming in an itinerary. Helen's controlling nature also emerges when she reacts to Jake's unexpected rejection of sex by demanding that he pretend they are strangers during the hiking trip. Ultimately, Helen learns that there are aspects of life she can't control, such as her attraction to Jake, her ex-husband's alcoholic tendencies, and whether the group finds her charming enough to award her a Certificate of Merit. Jake too must accept he can't control his worsening eye condition, nor how it influences Helen's opinion of him. Both characters must realize that attempting to control everything only guarantees misery and disappointment.
Resentment
Resentment—anger or annoyance provoked by the perception that one has been mistreated—is another important theme in Happiness for Beginners. Center introduces the theme with Helen's attitude toward Duncan in the book's opening chapter. Although he agreed to look after her dog while she is away in Wyoming, Duncan forgets his promise and Helen arrives at his apartment to find a raging party in full swing. Rather than a single oversight, Helen interprets this mistake as one of many Duncan has made and will continue to make throughout his life. The theme also arises when Jake rejects sex from Helen. Rather than consider what might be going on with Jake on an emotional level, Helen lumps him into the same category as all fickle men and writes him off as a person, ignoring the fact she had begun to admire him immensely before the rejection. Later in the book, Center makes it clear that Helen's resentment stems from her dysfunctional childhood. Neglected by her emotionally unstable parents, Helen developed a tendency to take other people's issues as personal affronts. When speaking with Jake, Helen realizes she has resented Duncan all his life because he isn't their dead brother Nathan, as though Duncan's failure to live up to an impossible expectation is akin to him mistreating her.
Abandonment
Defined as the cessation of support or care for someone, abandonment is a major theme in the novel. The root of Helen's trust issues, abandonment is addressed most explicitly in the book when it is revealed that Mike wasn't there for Helen during her miscarriage. At a time when she needed a supportive partner, her alcoholic husband was out on a drinking binge and unable to attend to her emotional needs. The theme also arises when Helen tells Windy about how she found Pickle abandoned on the street and claimed her as her own, even with Pickle's abuse-caused behavioral issues. Center later reveals that Helen has her own abandonment issues that go back to her childhood, as Helen's mother and father were unfit to raise her and Duncan after the death of their first son, Nathan. Helen grew up believing their mother simply dropped her and Duncan off one day at Grandma GiGi's because she didn't want to raise them. However, GiGi explains that Helen's mother was suicidally depressed and wasn't capable of being there for her children in the way she wished she could. Ultimately, Helen is able to see that her tendency to avoid being emotionally vulnerable with people is a direct consequence of having been hurt by those she loved.
Codependency
Codependency—excessive psychological or emotional reliance on a partner who has an illness or compulsive-behavior issue—is another key theme in Happiness for Beginners. Center primarily explores the theme through Helen's relationship with Mike, who struggles with alcoholism and its accompanying behaviors throughout their marriage. Helen reveals early in the book that she tried to keep her marriage to Mike alive with couples' counseling, but ended up divorcing him because he was out on a drinking binge the day she learned she was going to have a miscarriage. Although Helen left him a year before the events of the book, during the book's present-day storyline, Mike—now in Alcoholics Anonymous—calls Helen to seek support when he almost relapses by taking a drink. Even though she is in a motel with Jake, Helen spends an hour on the phone with Mike. The scene is significant because it shows how Helen still cares about Mike's well-being enough that she allows him to draw her back into their codependent dynamic, indulging him as he takes advantage of her caring nature. Having tested her boundaries in this way, he calls the next day to ask her not to pursue her ambitions on the hiking trip and to instead come back to Boston to try being together again. In this way, Center shows how a toxic codependent dynamic can perpetuate itself even when people have taken time and space away from each other. At the end of the book, Helen learns to not indulge Mike's attempt to stay emotionally enmeshed with her by not picking up when he calls.
Powerlessness
A counterpoint to control, powerlessness is another dominant theme in the novel. As someone who sees people as unreliable and reality as uncertain, Helen attempts to exercise control over herself and others. Similarly, the studious, highly capable Jake hides his blindness from others as he reevaluates his plans for a suddenly unpredictable future. But for both characters, the recognition of their powerlessness is liberating. Once Jake accepts he has no ability to retrieve his failing eyesight, he will lessen the suffering that comes with resisting what is inevitable. In Helen's case, she must accept that she and Duncan were powerless to prevent the childhood traumas of Nathan dying and their parents abandoning them. In doing so, she can release the resentment and guilt she carries and start appreciating the good aspects of her life.
Appreciation
Appreciation is another major theme in Happiness for Beginners. Defined as enjoyment and recognition of someone's or something's good qualities, appreciation arises in the novel when Windy discusses positive psychology with Helen. Drawing on books and studies she has read, Windy ventures the theory that happiness results not from getting what you desire (as Helen had always assumed), but from appreciating what you already have. Helen takes Windy's advice actively to recall at night three things she appreciated from the day; in doing so, a person might develop new neural pathways that make it an instinct to see the positive in their life. While appreciation doesn't quite replace Helen's pessimism, by the end of the book she does develop a newfound appreciation for her life as it is.
Support
Support—encouragement, comfort, or material assistance—is an important theme in the novel. Center explores the theme in ways that are both positive and negative. For instance, the comfort and encouragement Helen gives Mike from the motel bathroom when he nearly relapses is an energy-draining type of support that isn't appropriate now that they are divorced and Helen wants to move on. Overhearing their conversation from the motel bed, Jake weighs his imminent blindness against his love for Helen and concludes, privately, that he would be just as selfish as her ex to expect her to give the emotional and material support that will he'll likely need because of his disability. The theme arises again during the hiking trip when Jake continually watches out for Helen, making sure she doesn't injure herself too badly. When Beckett puts them in the same Solos group, he explains his decision by saying that they need to support each other. Beyond the fact that Helen is a skilled map reader and Jake is almost blind, Beckett says that Helen needs Jake because he always believes in her when she doubts herself. Ultimately, Center portrays Helen and Jake's mutual needs for support to be compatible and complementary, unlike the dysfunctional dynamic in Helen and Mike's marriage.
