“Human beings, as I know better than most, can get used to anything. Over time, even the unthinkable gradually wears a little niche for itself in your mind and becomes just something that happened.”
Adam, now Rob experienced a traumatic event as a child of which he does not have any recollection of whatsoever. He is indeed traumatized but it is not outwardly seen or even inwardly felt by him as his brain forgot it as a coping mechanism. His mind was probably too young to comprehend the ordeal thus chose to spare him from the mental pain. Now a murder detective he is well acquainted with the mental mechanisms at work within victims consequently becomes self-aware of his own experience too. Even attempts multiple times to bolster his mind to trigger the memories by getting consumed in his investigations.
“What I am telling you, before you begin my story, is this -- two things: I crave truth. And I lie. ”
Rob, as a murder detective, is a hunter for complete truth in unearthing the details and facts of his investigations. He is borderline obsessive when it comes to his cases which most of the time share a similarity with his childhood tragedy. However, for an individual who thirsts for the truth, he does not live it but with reasonable reasons. For instance, he changes his name as an adult to avoid any attachment which the tragedy he suffered as a child. He tries to escape the distress of having to be connected with the incident which is rather ironic considering his efforts to uncover the truth.
There was a time when I believed I was the redeemed one, the boy borne safely home on the ebb of whatever freak tide carried Peter and Jamie away. Not anymore. In ways too dark and crucial to be called metaphorical, I never left that wood.”
As much as Rob tries to detach himself from the traumatic experience, the truth is that he is traumatized. Furthermore, his trauma is dormant but is triggered eventually pushing him into the deep end of his unresolved pain. He realizes that while he was the survivor he is much a victim as the friends who disappeared. Trauma takes various forms and has different faces and with Rob, it took a latent form that is prompted years later. His career to an extent is a response to his childhood tragedy, seeking solace in solving other’s cases because his was left unsolved.
