Summary
de Beauvoir concludes her text by analyzing why women often lose themselves to narcissism, love, or mysticism, before explaining what the present situation of the “independent woman” is like. She begins by describing how narcissism is an attitude that emerges from women’s oppressive social situation. She defines narcissism as a process of alienation, in which women view themselves as an object and place supreme value on their physical being. As de Beauvoir has already established, women cannot exist as subjects themselves, so they seek transcendence by losing themselves in something else. For some women, this “something else” is the object that they represent in society. de Beauvoir explains that, though this may seem illogical, it is “because they are nothing that many women fiercely limit their interests to their self alone.” Because women cannot aspire to create or contribute anything, they fixate on themselves more than men do.
de Beauvoir explains that narcissism is more likely in women because they are encouraged to identify their entire selves with their physical appearance, unlike men. Moreover, women tend to have a strong sense of nostalgia for their childhood, because this was a time before they came to be seen as objects. She believes women suffer in adulthood from being expected to embody certain general types, such as a wife or mother, instead of being treated as individuals in the way that children and men are. Women feel misunderstood and have a weak grip on reality, which leads them to fixate on themselves even more. They want to be recognized as important by those around them because they have no important skills or products to offer the world, besides the bare fact of their existence. These kinds of women never build genuine connections with others because they insist on being the center of everyone’s existence and do not truly know themselves or the reality around them. Although narcissists may appear strong and self-absorbed, they are actually weak because their entire self-worth depends on how important they are to others.
In chapter 12, de Beauvoir explains how women in love can also lose themselves fully in their love affairs without being truly understood. According to de Beauvoir, love is all-consuming for women; they devote themselves entirely to pleasing the man they love. However, for men, love is just another piece of their lives, as opposed to their entire existence. Women will inevitably be disappointed by their lovers because they expect too much of them. By putting the beloved man on a pedestal, a woman sets herself up to be devastated when that man acts human and appears flawed. At the same time, there is another contradiction inherent in women’s love for men: they want men to be godlike but they also want to possess them entirely. Similarly, women want to give themselves up entirely to men but also want men to fully appreciate this sacrifice and give them access to the world through their love. de Beauvoir believes that many women find self-worth only through the fact that a man loves them.
The situation of a woman in love can be very dangerous because women depend so much more on men than men do on women. de Beauvoir believes that many women worship the man they love in the same way they might otherwise worship God. Thus, when a love affair is broken off, a woman often finds herself completely ruined. She not only loses economic benefits, but also feels like she has lost her entire purpose for living. On the other hand, men can usually recover more easily from the end of an affair because their affairs do not give them purpose in life. Women are also more tormented by the process of waiting for their lover to come back to them, because they have no other way to spend their time. Women end up trying to pass the time until their lover comes back, whereas men spend their time more productively overall and do not feel this same painful waiting process. Therefore, women in love tend to feel constantly tortured by their situation. de Beauvoir believes that the solution to this painful and unequal situation is for men and women to have an equal recognition of each other’s freedom, and to spend time together, not out of necessity, but because it benefits them both in the same way while allowing them to maintain their independence as well.
In chapter 13, de Beauvoir explains how religion and mysticism can be similar to the process of being in love or being consumed by narcissism. She believes that women turn to worshipping God if they do not have a man to worship. de Beauvoir characterizers the behavior of religious women and women in love as basically the same. Women want to feel special and needed, as though some kind of important gaze is fixated on them; this can be achieved either through narcissism, romance, or mysticism. Similarly, all three of these things have the possibility of being integrated into more active and independent lives. However, for the time being, they are so all-consuming that they destroy many women who subscribe to them.
In the last part of the book, de Beauvoir considers how independent women are striving for liberation in her own time. She acknowledges that women have more rights and are allowed to work and claim independence; however, she also notes that these civic liberties are only abstract if economic autonomy is not also in place. Women still face a greater burden when they try to work outside of the home, because they remain economically disadvantaged, dependent on husbands, or limited by the extra work required of them at home. She believes that women can only achieve total freedom while working if she is in a socialist society. Overall, de Beauvoir believes women have only come “halfway” in terms of achieving true equality and independence because they still face extra challenges. For example, their femininity often contradicts their work. The more productive a woman is in society, the less “feminine” she is considered to be, and vice versa. For example, a woman who is considered dominant or intelligent can seem threatening or undesirable as a romantic prospect for men. For women who want to remain feminine while still pursuing their independent work, this presents a difficult dilemma.
de Beauvoir believes that this inequality persists most strongly in the sexual relations between men and women. Sex presents a contradiction for women who want to be independent, because the dynamics involved often subordinate women to men. For example, men are typically more dominant and initiate the encounter. This can seem like a threat to an independent woman’s sense of autonomy, however. Therefore, relations with men can complicate a woman’s ability to be productive and feel positive about her position in society. de Beauvoir also believes that the restrictions and expectations placed on mothers perpetuate inequality; because reproductive rights are still controlled by men, women still have a disadvantaged position when it comes to reproduction. Overall, an independent woman in de Beauvoir’s day was torn between her profession and her sexual life.
She does note that creative women such as actresses, dancers, and singers have always enjoyed a greater degree of independence that corresponds with their femininity. However, she regrets that artistic women do not produce works of genius the way that men do, because they start out in a disadvantaged and less confident position. Women cannot produce completely innovative and important work because they do not have the same grasp on reality and confidence in their position that men do. Nevertheless, de Beauvoir is confident that changing circumstances will allow women to rise to this same level of genius over time.
In the conclusion, de Beauvoir reiterates many of her main ideas. She notes that men and women in her day are still not satisfied with one another because their positions remain unequal, and thus detrimental for both genders. The two genders are still engaged in a “combat” because they both seek to dominate the other. However, in her day, de Beauvoir believes that women no longer want to subjugate men, but rather want to escape from the chains that have been put on them by these men. Women have been complicit in their oppression over time because they have not known any other possibility. In de Beauvoir’s day, however, this situation is changing. People no longer believe as strongly in the idea of finding “equality within inequality,” but rather are striving to make the situation equal for both genders. de Beauvoir points out that many people object to these changes and want to maintain traditional gender norms, but de Beauvoir dismisses this attitude as naïve and nostalgic. She believes that changes to women’s social situation are entirely positive for all of society, and should be embraced. In fact, if women can exist for themselves they can still exist for men, as well. If both genders accept each other as subjects and equals, then they can love each other in more open, honest, and positive ways.
Analysis
The second to last section of de Beauvoir's work is focused on how women react to their situations. As such, she begins by making clear that certain attitudes—such as narcissism, fanatical love, or mysticism—are not a fundamental or natural condition for women. She starts the first chapter, on narcissists, by stating that it has been asserted in the past that narcissism is simply a normal state for any woman. She goes on to debunk this concept as she traces how narcissism, love, and mysticism are all part of the same attitude and a reaction to the same conditions. This section of the text is thus more reactive, as de Beauvoir attempts to show how all three of these conditions are actually a response to the situations she has outlined in previous chapters. Overall, the section leans heavily on concepts previously mentioned, and is thus shorter than previous sections because it is largely rehashing material de Beauvoir has already made clear.
Until these last two sections, de Beauvoir's text focused on deconstructing the negative aspects of a woman's situation. In this last section of the text, however, de Beauvoir turns her attention toward the contemporary period and analyzes what aspects of woman's present situation have become more positive over time. This marks a decisive shift in tone, as she moves from criticizing other theories or situations to positing her own, more positive views on the contemporary condition of women. However, de Beauvoir is still careful to point out flaws and problems where she sees them. She retains a cautiously optimistic perspective, and continues to criticize the contemporary institutions that perpetuate gender inequality in her day.
In these last two sections of her work, de Beauvoir repeats herself more often than in other chapters. She returns to some of the recurring themes of the text, reiterating how they manifest in different kinds of women and how they impact women who attempt to be independent in her day. The chapters in these two final sections are more closely linked than others: she transitions from analyzing narcissists, to women in love, to women obsessed with mysticism by showing how these categories are all connected. de Beauvoir's interlinking of these concepts helps her to conclude her work more decisively, by emphasizing for readers how all previous sections have led to these particular categories. She ends with an analysis of the contemporary independent woman, in which she unites all of the concepts previously discussed to demonstrate how history, psychoanalysis, biology, marriage, motherhood, old age, etc. all conspire to create the type of woman most common in her own day.
In her conclusion, de Beauvoir goes beyond a simple summary of her ideas. She begins by reiterating certain key concepts, such as women as Other, seeking transcendence through immanence, and woman's character as a function of her limited social circumstances. However, she also touches on new ideas. For example, she brings up the concept of oppression creating a state of war in order to make the stakes of her book even clearer. The oppression of women is not only negative for all women, but also creates a conflict that involves and negatively impacts men, as well. This analogy to a state of war allows de Beauvoir to draw all readers into her argument and leave them with a clear sense of purpose: ending such conflict in order to bring stability and peace to all of society.
de Beauvoir ends her text by hinting at the ways in which society could benefit and be entirely different after granting women true equality. She returns to the concept of romance being fraught and unpleasant for both genders in order to offer readers a solution: if women can exist for themselves, they can continue to exist for men as well and both men and women can find greater satisfaction in love. The fact that de Beauvoir emphasizes the centrality of romance at the very end of her text implies the degree to which romantic relations are the basis for interactions between the two genders, in all spheres of life. This focus on romance also allows de Beauvoir to end on a more optimistic note, by suggesting how one of the most exalted of human emotions—love—might become even more important and fulfilling if women were better treated throughout society. Readers leave the text with a compelling reason to support de Beauvoir's cause: by giving women greater rights, everyone can benefit in their personal lives, as well.
