Summary
Zauner begins the chapter talking about a trip she took to Korea without her mother, in her college years. She recounts how they would drink beer and eat Korean fried chicken after she had finished her language homework. She recounts a question posed to her by her aunt Eunmi about a series of animals and what order she would keep them in. She says she would hold onto the monkey last, which Eunmi says represents babies. Eunmi says Zauner's mother said the same. Eunmi adds that she chose the horse, which represents career, something Zauner finds fitting as Eunmi is the only one of her sisters to attend college, which graduated with top marks. She says that Eunmi was like a second mother to her.
Zauner then talks about how Eunmi was diagnosed with colon cancer and died after twenty-four rounds of chemotherapy. She flies to Seoul for the funeral and consoles her mother over the course of the days of ceremonies. She flies back to the United States and feels that Korea is less of a home without Eunmi or Halmoni. After Zauner's mother completes her second chemotherapy treatment, she returns to Philadelphia and goes on tour with her band. Her father calls her a few weeks later to tell her the chemotherapy didn't work. Zauner is devastated by the news. Her mother takes the phone and tells her she'd like to take one last trip to Korea with her.
Zauner and Peter fly to Seoul and meet up with her mother and father. Her mother immediately feels ill after her flight and has to be hospitalized. She suffers severe symptoms and struggles to eat. In the hospital, Zauner's mother expresses frustration that her father is not present and wonders if he will remarry after she is gone, a prospect that fills Zauner with dread and disgust. They are told that her mother will likely have to be put on a ventilator and they decide they will return to America.
Her mother suddenly shows signs of improvement and they fly home. Before they leave, Zauner tells Peter that she thinks they should get married, while her mother is still alive. He agrees and they begin to plan for the wedding. She picks out a dress with her relatives. Everyone is concerned about the timing but also excited about the prospect of her getting married. When they leave the hospital, a doctor gives her a small wood carving with a father, mother, and daughter holding each other.
In the eleventh chapter, Zauner recounts how she met Peter and began dating. They meet through a mutual friend and she is charmed by his karaoke performance of a Billy Joel song. They become close after working together as servers at a restaurant. After Peter was injured in a mugging incident, Zauner visited him in the hospital and they started a relationship. Their return from Korea goes smoothly and Zauner starts to plan the wedding with Peter.
They take wedding photos and send out invitations. They choose a wedding cake. At the same time, Kye gets Zauner's mother to convert to Christianity, which Zauner believes her mother primarily does to show appreciation for her care. Before the wedding, Zauner's mother gives her some jewelry, a gesture that Zauner finds extremely moving. Peter's family arrives and treats Zauner with great warmth and love. The day of the wedding arrives and things go off without a hitch. Zauner reads her vows and says she discovered love in the way Peter expressed care for her throughout these difficult times. The day ends and the newly married couple collapses in bed.
Following the wedding, Kye becomes strangely antagonistic. One night, Zauner and her mother are watching an interview with actress Mariska Hargitay who tears up while discussing the loss of her mother. Zauner and her mother burst into tears while watching this, overcome by their feelings for one another. Kye returns from an evening of drinking and gambling and says critical things about Zauner and her father. After the disagreement spirals, Kye says she is leaving. Zauner is relieved but her father is upset. Her mother is impassive about the whole thing, saying simply that she thinks Kye "had fun."
Analysis
Homecoming is a major element of this middle portion of the book. Zauner talks about how close she was with her aunt Eunmi and how, during her study abroad, she went to Korea and stayed with her. This trip was noteworthy in that it was one of the only ones she made without her mother. They grew especially close during this time. When Eunmi passes away from cancer, Zauner is in great pain and also feels that Korea no longer holds the same significance for her, as both her aunt and grandmother are no longer alive. Homecoming appears as a theme in these chapters as Zauner is reminded of how places are shaped by the people one knows there, and when those people are gone, the places seem to change drastically.
Similarly, Zauner's trip to Korea with her mother and father is basically halted by her mother's condition. Her mother expresses a wish to return to Korea one last time, to show Zauner some places she hadn't had the chance to previously. With her condition remaining relatively stable they make an attempt, but upon arriving things quickly deteriorate and her mother is hospitalized. When they are faced with the prospect of putting her on a ventilator, they decide to return to America. The particular sadness of this moment derives from the fact that Zauner and her mother don't actually get the real experience of a homecoming, and lose even more time together.
Love is also a major theme in this section of the book. Zauner says that she sees Peter's love for her take the form of the constant care he shows. Without thought, he traveled to meet her whenever she was struggling and always listened to her as she called him many times throughout the day. She feels that the sum of these many small gestures is so much more meaningful than any large display. For Zauner, love is a daily action and choice, not an abstract emotion. This takes on a particularly strong emotional resonance as this care is something that is largely absent from Zauner's parents' relationship and becomes a source of tension while they are in Korea.
Kye's departure in this chapter also deals with the theme of cultural identity, as Kye tries to get Zauner's mother to convert to Christianity and frequently criticizes both Zauner and her father. Her leaving is treated as similarly opaque, as she one day decides to leave after a disagreement with Zauner's father. Zauner's mother's comment about her having fun on her visit suggests that her reasons for visiting and staying were not motivated by charity, but rather a passing escape from her own unhappiness.
This part of the book is largely about Zauner accepting that her mother does not have much longer to live. She decides both to take her to Korea one final time and to get married as a way of making the most of the time they still have. This plan faces certain challenges, as the trip proves to be very draining on her mother. She struggles with the reality of how massive this loss will be and how much will be permanently altered by her mother's absence.
