Religion
The protagonist of the novel is a young man studying to become a Rabbi, but the story is not centered around an academic or theological idea of religion and God. At the start of the book, Leo does not even have much of a relationship with God, and this troubles him. He cannot account for this void, and he is seeking to create more of a connection. Leo learns that the way to God is through loving relationships. The more he opens himself up to giving and receiving love, the closer he feels to God. The theme of religion in the book deals mostly with living in a way that allows God to work through us as humans. The greater our loving connections with others, the greater our relationship with God.
Superficialty
Leo is a pretty superficial kind of person. One of the themes of the book is superficiality and the tendency of its main characters to judge others based on their appearance without looking more deeply into their personalities. Leo is an equal opportunity superficial young man in that he judges himself on his appearance as well. Although he is looking for love he judges potential girlfriends on their appearance, and if he does not like what he sees he moves on without getting to know them at all. He also judges his friends by their appearance too, and they seem to do the same.
Love
Leo is a lonely heart, although at the start of the story he fails to recognize this. He is gregarious and wants to bring people to him, but he has an ulterior motive - getting a bigger congregation. Finding someone to fall in love with is the farthest thing from his mind - at least until it isn't. When he meets Stella, the thought of being without her makes him realize that he is actually very lonely indeed.
Meeting Stella is not entirely luck or coincidence; in fact, it is part of Salzman's plan to assuage his own guilt about the gulf between himself and his daughter. Nevertheless, it does show that even people who think they are above the hunt for a mate are not really above it after all. Everyone needs love, even if they don't realize it themselves at first.
Little White Lies
Everyone has told a little white lie at one time or another. After all, where is the harm in telling someone they look nice in a particular dress, or that the dinner they cooked tasted perfect, if it saves embarrassment or hurt feelings? But when these little white lies become less little, and slightly more of a gray area, then there might be cause for concern. One of the book's themes is this ethical dilemma between good lies and bad ones.
Leo lies to himself all the time; he tells himself that he doesn't care if he is alone when in fact he does, very much. He lies to himself about his motivation for becoming a rabbi in the first place. Again, as these are lies to himself, are they harming anyone else? This is another of the dilemmas that the book poses for the reader.
