Lincoln's Common App Anonymous

I’ve always seen the world through a comedic lens. Even when I’m immersed in something serious, like writing college essays, I can’t help but consider the situation’s ridiculous extremes, such as: How would accomplished historical figures navigate today’s college admissions process?

“So Abe, what will your essay be about?”

“Well, I was thinking of mentioning the whole president thing...”

“That’s a good topic, but we have to figure out how to make it more personal to you. Maybe you could compare the fight against the Confederacy to your struggle for identity? Or perhaps write about how passing the Emancipation Proclamation prepared you to take on the social challenges of living independently at college?”

“Hmm, I never thought about that.”

“Let’s look at how you’ve started off your supplements. ‘Four score and seven years ago’—do you really think that’s ‘grabby’ enough?”

For a long time, I thought of this mental meandering as a mere frivolous distraction; when adults asked about my talents and interests, I skipped over mentioning my passion for comedy because I felt I was expected to view myself staunchly as a serious scholar on an unwaveringly rigorous academic and extra-curricular track. I believed my inner absurdist voice...